You and I, it’s
There’s nothing like the way I feel when I hear your voice
The way it makes my stomach quiver,
The way I love how you wrap your arms around me,
And the way I feel lost in you.
We’ve loved each other for a long time;
But…. it’s complicated.
I remember the first day I met you
Me, a farm girl from Kansas on her first flight, giddy, naïve, excited
When I jumped past the “authorized personnel only” sign to rescue my bag
From where it was headed into the unknown
And they shouted at me.
That’s when we first met, you and I.
Me, the farm girl with starry eyes who fell hard for you,
You–so much older than me, the one who had seen every kind of person in the world
Who had traveled to the four corners of the earth
I fell for you then, and I’ve loved you since
I fell in love with the way you whispered poetry in my ear
Of places you wanted to take me
Things you wanted to show me
Languages you wanted me to hear
People you wanted me to meet
And I’ve been in love ever since.
But…. it’s complicated.
I love the way you’re always alive and moving.
The way your heart beats late at night
When I put my ear on your chest
And listen to the sound of your dreams throbbing
The way Boeing 747’s do going down the runway.
I love the way you inspire me to dream,
To wander, to explore
To go where no one else has gone before.
I love the way I see every color in you;
And how every language under the sun
Rolls alive and rich on your tongue;
And when I hear you say the words
โปรดทราบ เครื่องของสายการบิน Air Asia เที่ยวบินที่ FD 3113
ขอเรียนเชินผู่ด้วยสารทุกท่านขึ้นเครื่องได้ ณ ทางออกหมายเลกสอง
I thrill. No one speaks to my heart like you do.
And yet… it’s so complicated.
I love you, but every time I see you,
You rip me away from others I love,
Tearing like the tabs tearing from boarding passes at the gate.
You make me feel at home,
Yet you take me away from home and then tease me with memories of home in the eyes of the little blonde boy sitting in front of me at Gate 29
You bring me to places that stamp themselves onto my heart
Then you block them off from me
Like visas denied at the last minute.
You send me friends that become a part of me
Then break them away while my heart crumbles
Like the hard cookies on the flight to Shanghai.
You broaden my horizons and leave me in awe
And then collapse them like my luggage does after I’ve unpacked everything from it
You teach me things I never knew
Then change it all up, so I’m confused and can’t find my way
As if I were lost in Suvarnabhumi all over again.
And everywhere I go with you, you always, always make me pay
That are wrenched from a heart that wonders
Why I let someone do this to me
Can you see why I love you
And why I hate you?
It’s just…. complicated
But you’ve seen me at my lowest, my worst,
When I’ve been awake for 24 hours,
And smell like a pair of socks that were packed dirty
And left through two missed flights
While their owner slept on the hard floor.
You’ve taken me with all my baggage and dug around in it
Found all my dirty secrets, and let me into your heart anyway.
You’ve wrapped your arms around me while I sat crying
On the row of seats waiting for AA 2828 to leave Wichita
You’ve seen me alone and lonely in the masses
Yet, I feel at home when I am with you.
You enraptured me in Doha, where you were so quiet I too became silent
In Shanghai you taught me the beauty of doing nothing
You forced me to drink all the water in my bottle in Seoul in 25 seconds
I spent the night with you in Chicago while the snow fell and cold seeped into my bones
In Guangzhou we fought over the price of chocolate-covered blueberries
And in Bangkok I watched you, dazzled at the hundreds of different faces of you
I’ve drunk coffee with you in Tokyo, in Dallas, in Wichita
And held hands with you in Ho Chin Minh City.
In Chiang Mai you brought hundreds of people into my life—and then took them away again.
I lost my heart to you in Kunming and in Phnom Penh and in Calcutta
And when I bussed back from Laos
Every bone in my body ached from missing you.
And yeah, you’ve messed up.
You’ve kept me waiting and waiting without an answer
You’ve gone back on promises, let other things come first
You turned a cold shoulder to me that night in Chicago
When I was freezing and no matter how many blankets I wrapped around myself, my heart was so cold.
I lost my trust in you when you made me pay an arm and a leg
For those dumplings in China when I was starving
And I will never forget the regret that filled my heart
In O’Hara when you took that $4 chocolate chip cookie from me
While I was distracted by you….
It still haunts me
You’re just…. complicated
And yet, I keep on coming back to you
Over and over again.
Even when you take people from me, people I love
I love you even when I have to pay thousands of dollars just to see you
And you keep breaking my heart over and over.
I love getting lost in your embrace,
Tasting all you have to offer
Watching the grace of your movements and the vibrancy of your color
I love us.
*This is Slam Poetry (recycled homework again) something I did for my Advanced Oral Communications class. To listen to the performance, check out this link: my love affair with airports
**This is Thai writing meaning this: Attention please. Air Asia Flight FD 3113 to Chiang Mai is now boarding at Gate # 2. Thank you.