to know you’ve been living in Thailand for an extended period of time and are home on break. When….

1. You enter a new bathroom, and you feel around on the outside of the bathroom door for the light switch, forgetting that in America they put light switches inside bathrooms.
2. You stand in line while going through immigrations at the airport and munch chocolate, then feel bad for not sharing it with the person beside you. But you don’t want to share it because they would think you are weird.
3. You cringe when people use their foot to motion or perform a task.
4. You find yourself staring at dark haired people on the street, wondering if by any chance they might be Thai.
5. You drink water out of the sink, simply enjoying the novelty of doing that again.
6. You motion people to come with your palm down, and then feel really weird for doing it.
7. You find yourself sitting on the floor more than on chairs, because it really is more comfortable.
8. Just opening the fridge and looking into it is an adventure and feast for the eyes.
9. You feel like a shadow of your old self, coming back to old haunts and realize that the haunts changed. People are fatter, thinner, older, more stooped, happier, sadder…
10. You can sit down at the table to eat and not have to swat at mosquitoes.
11. You feel funny when you think about the fact that you can speak another language. Like you just made up that language and no one else knows it. Or that you have some secret power inside of you that really is of no use.
12. You realize that you actually do like Americans.
13. You realize that since you live far away, you have become a neutral, “safe” person to others. People tell you things they never would have years ago.
14. And you can pull off your clothes in one fell swoop instead of having to peel them off in a sweaty, sticky mess.